"Me: God, if I should follow my heart, give me a sign. The signs: (stop light, stop sign, don’t, u turn)"
"The Bible: Don’t be afraid. Also the Bible: *describes angels, UFOs, an enemy who wants to kill you, the stuff in Revelation…*"
How to sneak into church so you never have to leave. Why did you swipe? ?
When that extra hour of sleep hits.
Sure, ghosts are scary. But have you ever accidentally “liked” an ex’s pic on social media?
When Pastor preaches about loving the unlovable and suddenly you get a bunch of encouraging text messages
Daniel slept in a lion's den, Peter slept in a prison, Jesus slept in a storm. No matter the circumstance, you can take a nap.
Live footage of the energy I have left for any plan that God isn't behind:
When everything’s falling apart at your job but you work for God, not man.
Jesus promised living water and I’m out here trying to make it by with coffee
I don’t understand why I don’t have more friends at church. Also me as soon as service ends:
The Bible: Do your work as unto the Lord. My work: "Per my last email…"
Angel: Don't be afraid. The angel:
Google search: How to be humble without having to serve No results found. Did you mean: “How to make sure people see how humble you are.” Because that isn’t a thing either.
Them: Trusting in God is too scary. Feels way too risky. *checks on stock portfolio*
Jesus: Forgives me from every sin I’ve ever committed Me: Holds a grudge on the kid that made fun of me in fifth grade
Fear may have teeth, but I'm a dentist with a drill.
Me trying to serve both God and money: clown image
"How I think forgiveness should feel as a Christian: *sun shining, bird singing* How it actually feels: *grumpy face*"
4 Bible verses to passive aggressively use at work to get what you want.
Your Bible app watching you open Instagram again:
Them: We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty. Me: Of course you can come to church with me! I'll save you a seat!
D&D Ways to Start a Prayer
Jesus: Forgive them. Me: I hear you. But can I just make them pay a little bit? Me: Like forgive them but also you send some lightning their way or something? Jesus: ?
