Church. Ingredients: - tons of imperfect people - one guy who sings way too loud - one focus: God - hundred hands raised - tablespoon of high fives - a dash of you
Me thinking about all the resolutions I've already broken.
I NEED A HUGe amount of coffee
Let autocorrect finish this verse: What does the LORD require of you, but to do...
You have been swallowed by a whale.
The brain of a worshiper: raise hands. hope they do another bridge. clap. sing like no one's listening. drum on the seat in front of me. thank God.
Who would you choose as a roommate? Noah, but a steady stream of animals come through your house. Jonah, but he still smells like the inside of a fish. Eve, but she's always peer pressuring you. Ruth, but her mother-in-law lives with you.
Bible character New Year's resolutions. Jonah: stay away from boats and open water this year. Eve: learn more about picking produce. Peter: be more loyal to friends. Goliath: stop bullying Israelites.
The last digit in your phone number is the reindeer you are on Santa's sleigh
Ruin a Christmas song by changing one word of its title.
Bethlehem Hotel. Mary: I need a room for December 24th. Hotel: Sorry, we have no more rooms available. Mary: I'm going to need to speak to your manger. Hotel: Weird request, but okay. Mary: ... (typing)
Mary's search history: angel Gabriel. how to tell your boyfriend you're pregnant. donkey rentals. AirBnb in Bethlehem.
Me thinking about all the food I'm going to eat tomorrow.
Zacchaeus's search history: platform shoes. how to climb a sycamore tree. last-minute catering. does Jesus have any dietary restrictions?
Fasting. Is not: Upgrading your internet speed. Is: Abstaining from something to focus on God.
Which celebrity would you least want to be in a small group with?
Google me, God, and know my ❤️. - Psalm 139:23 (Millennial Version)
Me: I'll take it from here, God. Me taking it from here:
If you could eliminate one candy from Halloween, which would it be: A. Candy Corn B. Smarties C. Tootsie Rolls D. Black Licorice
Which celebrity would you invite to your Bible study?
Opening the Bible for that special word from God, and instead you get...
Rank your boss on a scale from 10 to "they follow me on social media so I'm gonna say 10."
Shadrach: This is lit! Haha. Son of man: Hey guys. Abednego: Wait, whose number is that? Meschach: Now it's a party.
Challenge: List the name of every pet you had growing up.
Parents, teach your children the concept of tithing. Halloween is coming up.
I was today years old when I learned...
Side hugs, not drugs.
Drop your favorite meme in the comments!
Before Moses cleared his search history: Normal for burning bushes to talk? How to make a pharaoh listen. worst plagues. how to get lamb's blood off clothes. is it normal for water to part?
