Walking into church with an extra hour of sleep like...
How I watch commercials during scary movie season:
Before David cleared his search history: girl bathing on roof, Bathsheba, is Bathsheba single?, how to betray your friend
Disciples: We're hungry. Jesus: (Copy loaves and fish)
What gives people feelings of power. Money. Status. Being the first one to clap when Pastor's point was good.
The limit does not exist.
Prophets. God: Hey, I need someone to go to Nineveh. Jonah, you down? Jonah left the conversation. God added Big Fish to the conversation.
Join us this week for Pumpkin Spice Communion!
I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. - Michael Scott. Happy Friday the 13th!
Monday emojis: ☕️???
When I'm most likely to get mad at fellow drivers. 35% On my way to work. 10% Heading to a restaurant. 100% Driving to church.
Kids get the Tooth Fairy. Adults should get: The Key Fairy, The Sock Fairy, The Remote Fairy, The Password Fairy
When a celebrity thanks God in their speech and you're trying to figure out if they're Christian.
There are three types of people in the world: 1. those who can count 2. those who can't
What movie traumatized you as a child?
Rewrite your favorite Bible verse the way a cat would write it.
And friends are friends forever, If the Lord's the Lord of them
Swear Jar. Not remembering that one guy’s name jar.
1 min: time it takes to make a new friend at church. 5 min: time it takes Pastor to finish praying. 2 hrs: time it takes to decide what to eat after church.
Tag someone you know who takes a lot of selfies.
What's the worst pizza topping: pineapple, anchovies, mushrooms
When you remember it's youth night.
If you could make an 11th Commandment, what would it be?
"Love only those who are like you." - Not In There 5:13
What gif best describes how church was today?
Did you know: On this day in 1976, The Who set the record for the loudest concert of all time at 120 DB. For reference, our services run around 95. (So stop complaining about our sound guy, Karen.)
Without using numbers, tell us how old you are.
Stop hitting yourself. Happy National Brother Day.
